May 2012
math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
me: why did you just reblog that from them
me: i literally just reblogged that
me: you're following both of us so why'd you reblog it from them and not me
me: is it because you don't like me
me: is it because i'm fat
windycarnage:
have you ever just stared at the posts of someone you follow and whisper “i just want to be your friend” then with a single tear hopelessly like/reblog all their posts
When your friends bring up something that could... →
funniest10k:
Click here for the funnest blog you will EVER follow
Kids at my school: I like to smoke weed and get high and I also like to smoke cigarettes.
Me: Sometimes when it's cold, I like to breathe really heavy and pretend i'm a dragon.
I notice everything.
And by everything, I literally mean everything. I notice when someone stops hitting me up like they used to. I notice when the way someone talks to me starts changing. I notice the little things that people do, and the little things they used to do. I notice when things change, and when it’s no longer the same. I notice every single little detail. I just don’t say anything.
English Teacher: Now I want you to tell me the saddest love story you have ever encountered.
Me: Well, it all began when two babies were born in a different place and time. The boy grew up to be a successful young man who roams around the world to showcase his talent while the girl stayed in the sea of faces who admired him. He doesn't know her, but she knows him, from his real name to what his favorite color is. She sends him love letters, even if she's aware that he won't be able to read it and she has to pay loads of money just to watch him perform for a few hours. That pattern goes on and on, unceasingly. The boy continues to walk in his dream, while the girl could only look at him with pure admiration, and sadly, that's how it'll end. The boy...will never know just how much the girl loves him.
English Teacher: That's quite sad.
Me: Oh, the life of a fangirl really is sad, Teach.
English Teacher: What
Me: What
News in Britain: stamps have gone up 14 pence
News in America: cannibal eats man's face
brucebaanner:
remember the time you didn’t think everyone was gay
Avengers pick up lines:
Steve: Are you from the 1940s? Because I'd really love to have a future with you.
Thor: I will make sure that you are "Thor in the morning".
Clint: I always hit the bullseye...ifyouknowwhatimean.
Bruce: They don't call me incredible for nothing, hehe.
Tony: Hi, I'm Tony Stark.
Loki: I was made to kneel.
Boy: Did it hurt
Girl: (sigh) did what hurt
Boy: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell
current mood: gay
my life goal is to buy out an entire concert and then the artist will come on stage so dramatically and it will just be me sitting there like
solidmercury:
bruisebanner:
princeofkokoros:
what if there was a really flamboyant assassin and after they killed someone they just snapped their fingers, turned away and said ‘you’ve just been SASSassinated’
#clint barton
Watchvideohall:
Wow that’s amazing, I thought it was fake after seeing them draw on the paper. That alone is ingenious.
friend: Oh my god I love this celebrity so much! He's so hot and - aw man. He's already 21. Ugh why are all the good men so old.
me: OH YES HE'S ONLY 35. I WANNA LICK HIM.
tsundere: hey, I just met you
tsundere: and this is crazy
tsundere: but here's my number
tsundere: b-but it's not like I want you to call me or anything!
tsundere: yandere passu
yandere: hey, I just met you
yandere: and this is crazy
yandere: but i love you a lot
yandere: so here's my number
yandere: so, call me okay?
yandere:
yandere:
yandere: call me
yandere: call me
yandere: call me
yandere: call me
yandere: call me
person: but that ship doesn't make sense because that character already likes someone else..
me: shhh do you hear that?
me: it's the winds of me not giving a fuck
me: (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ・。*。✧・゜゜・。✧。*・゜゜・✧。・゜゜・。*。・゜*✧
Watchnarkosespritze:
boyslut:
OH MY GOD
^^^
The moment when terrible pictures of you are... →
wowfunniestposts:
laugh trip
Imagine if your future husband/wife is following...
hell0-c0ld-w0rld:
f is for friends who dont talk to you
u is for ur alone
n is for never having any plans at all, all i do is sit at home
tomlinsarse:
this is literally me every time i open photoshop
